Hello everyone,
I know it took a long to write this post but I had the most busiest two weeks since I came back from England! It was great fun but I hope it slows down a little because I honestly cannot keep up with this pace! Basically I have been eating and drinking for 10 days in a row. Now I feel like my body is starting to been affected by this 'unhealthy' style and so today I am on a mission to buy healthy food. I have found a nice and cheap bio market not far from where I live and I am planning to go there and buy LOADS of vegetables and TONS of fruit!
You probably want to know what happened, right?
I think there isn't much to tell apart from the fact that I'm just having lots of fun! I have always something to do: theatre festival, music festival, sushi, barbecue etc. So just loads of 'social events' like my mom likes to call them.
On the personal level, everything is going great, even though, when I am tired I have a sense of discouragement that leaves a sort of bitterness in my mouth. It is a feeling that I am wasting my life, pursuing a career that lots of other people are pursuing without success and that I should have more priorities, which in the long term are more durable and rewarding. I don't know what to think of the adventure I am living now. It is definitely something I don't want to do for the rest of my life, so is really it worth it then? Sometimes I think it is, because I have already met loads of interesting people and I think I am growing up. Other times I think that all these people are like all the other people before them, they come and go. Then, when I come to the conclusion of this long inner debate, I like to think that people don't come and then go unless you make them go and if you make them go it is because they weren't important enough. I sometimes wonder if my life will ever be stable enough and if I will ever have a place I can call my home. I guess it's only by living that you find out.
The job is proceeding with a very slow and not fun pace. Sometimes I sit at my desk, writing e-mails in italian, reading italian newspapers (which are only a bunch of crap, sorry!!) and I think that I escape Italy, I ran away from that language, that culture only to find myself sitting in an office in Brussels doing what I tried to avoid all my life. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my time, or even worse like I have thrown away all my dreams. I know, I am a bit tragic. I guess it is my nature!!
While I am doing all this stuff with Italy, I am also slowly realising that I miss Russia and Russian a lot. I love the sound of that language, the people and the adventurous feeling you get by living there. I have asked my boss if you could let me work with Russia a bit more but apparently he doesn't trust my language skills. I reckon it is fair, considering that he has never seen a paper or a certificate that can prove my level. I insisted so much that he decided to give me a chance but instead of giving an easy task, he asked me to get an article published on a Russian newspaper. This is the most difficult thing you could ever do and having to do it in Russian is even more difficult especially because in that particular case you have always to call. So at the end I gathered all my courage and I called Russia to realise that I know more than I think, thank God! I have managed to make three calls and speak with journalists. Unfortunately, due to the fact that Russia is a bit in a mess at the moment with the Olympics and the elections of the new Moscow mayor, they explained that it would have been very difficult to get one of our stories into a newspaper but that they would love to hear from us once things cool off a bit. My colleagues were really impressed of the fact that the Russians were so nice. Everyone has this stereotype that they are always arrogant and aggressive. I don't know if it is my attitude or the fact that they appreciate foreigners who make an effort to speak Russian but they were super nice with me and I really enjoyed talking with them on the phone.
Other news concern my future plans. I don't know what I am going to do after I finish here, expect probably do a master's in London in September, but I have applied for the traineeship at the European Commission. That is one of the reasons why my week was so busy; I had less than a week to prepare the all application but with the help of everyone I know I was able to get to the bottom of it and submit it on the last day of the deadline! We'll see what happens but I would not be too hopeful, though. I lack some of the requirements, I am supposed to speak three European languages and I only speak two because my third is Russian.
Since I needed a letter of recommendation I emailed my personal tutor at Bath and he replied saying that there is an opportunity to work as an Italian or English teacher in one of the Russian universities he works with. Now he has put the idea in my head, I would not be surprise if I end up teaching Italian in Magnitogorsk for a summer!! For the joy of my mom, at least. For this as well, we'll see what happens.
On a very tragic note I have another of my sad reflections. On Friday I was getting out of the metro on my way home from work. I was hungry, tired and frustrated. I was about to cry for all the stress and disappointment I had to faced this week and I heard two italians chatting. Tears immediately filled my eyes, I was furious. Immediately I thought that it is because of Italy and the Italians that I am here, all alone and frustrated. It is because Italy is a fucked up and corrupted country with no opportunities that I am here. I left when I was 18 and I always thought the main reason was curiosity, curiosity of exploring the world and see what is outside my comfort zone. The more time I spend in Brussels the more I realise that was not the main reason for going but quite the contrary. The main reason was necessity, survival. Most of the non-italian people I meet here are here because they wanted to explore, venture and try new things. The Italians, which are definitely much more in number, are here because of desperation hoping for a better life, better opportunities.
Today I am leaving my room to move to another room across the landing. Nothing traumatic since the new room is as nice as the other but it means that I have just one month left in this house and I have to go through the annoying process of finding another suitable place to live. Today I went to see this flat but they want loads of money for a room that is worth definitely less and also the area is very run down. I was waiting for the girl to come down and open the door and a man just randomly came up to the building and pea against the wall!! I was just standing there and I could see everything...I don't think I am going to live there in the near future.
I am now finally in the new room and it is very nice: big and full of light. I have a less nice view but it is compensated by the fact that I have a shower and not a bathtub so no more shower sitting down for me!!
On Saturday I had a friend visiting from England. She came just for the day because she was in Luxembourg visiting a friend. We had loads of fun just making fun of Belgium and the Belgians. Also she brought me an amazing box of macarons. They are all gone! Apart from the macarons, we did a tour of the city and we had a great time chatting and catching up. It made me think about how difficult it can be to live so far from the people you really love. Sometimes I realise that I really enjoy making my life more difficult that it really is.
For now these are all the news. Just think that if I go to Russia after this you could read posts directly from the land of the Soviets, how cool is that?
Good night (now I go to watch a Russian film, of course!)
While I am doing all this stuff with Italy, I am also slowly realising that I miss Russia and Russian a lot. I love the sound of that language, the people and the adventurous feeling you get by living there. I have asked my boss if you could let me work with Russia a bit more but apparently he doesn't trust my language skills. I reckon it is fair, considering that he has never seen a paper or a certificate that can prove my level. I insisted so much that he decided to give me a chance but instead of giving an easy task, he asked me to get an article published on a Russian newspaper. This is the most difficult thing you could ever do and having to do it in Russian is even more difficult especially because in that particular case you have always to call. So at the end I gathered all my courage and I called Russia to realise that I know more than I think, thank God! I have managed to make three calls and speak with journalists. Unfortunately, due to the fact that Russia is a bit in a mess at the moment with the Olympics and the elections of the new Moscow mayor, they explained that it would have been very difficult to get one of our stories into a newspaper but that they would love to hear from us once things cool off a bit. My colleagues were really impressed of the fact that the Russians were so nice. Everyone has this stereotype that they are always arrogant and aggressive. I don't know if it is my attitude or the fact that they appreciate foreigners who make an effort to speak Russian but they were super nice with me and I really enjoyed talking with them on the phone.
Other news concern my future plans. I don't know what I am going to do after I finish here, expect probably do a master's in London in September, but I have applied for the traineeship at the European Commission. That is one of the reasons why my week was so busy; I had less than a week to prepare the all application but with the help of everyone I know I was able to get to the bottom of it and submit it on the last day of the deadline! We'll see what happens but I would not be too hopeful, though. I lack some of the requirements, I am supposed to speak three European languages and I only speak two because my third is Russian.
Since I needed a letter of recommendation I emailed my personal tutor at Bath and he replied saying that there is an opportunity to work as an Italian or English teacher in one of the Russian universities he works with. Now he has put the idea in my head, I would not be surprise if I end up teaching Italian in Magnitogorsk for a summer!! For the joy of my mom, at least. For this as well, we'll see what happens.
On a very tragic note I have another of my sad reflections. On Friday I was getting out of the metro on my way home from work. I was hungry, tired and frustrated. I was about to cry for all the stress and disappointment I had to faced this week and I heard two italians chatting. Tears immediately filled my eyes, I was furious. Immediately I thought that it is because of Italy and the Italians that I am here, all alone and frustrated. It is because Italy is a fucked up and corrupted country with no opportunities that I am here. I left when I was 18 and I always thought the main reason was curiosity, curiosity of exploring the world and see what is outside my comfort zone. The more time I spend in Brussels the more I realise that was not the main reason for going but quite the contrary. The main reason was necessity, survival. Most of the non-italian people I meet here are here because they wanted to explore, venture and try new things. The Italians, which are definitely much more in number, are here because of desperation hoping for a better life, better opportunities.
Today I am leaving my room to move to another room across the landing. Nothing traumatic since the new room is as nice as the other but it means that I have just one month left in this house and I have to go through the annoying process of finding another suitable place to live. Today I went to see this flat but they want loads of money for a room that is worth definitely less and also the area is very run down. I was waiting for the girl to come down and open the door and a man just randomly came up to the building and pea against the wall!! I was just standing there and I could see everything...I don't think I am going to live there in the near future.
I am now finally in the new room and it is very nice: big and full of light. I have a less nice view but it is compensated by the fact that I have a shower and not a bathtub so no more shower sitting down for me!!
On Saturday I had a friend visiting from England. She came just for the day because she was in Luxembourg visiting a friend. We had loads of fun just making fun of Belgium and the Belgians. Also she brought me an amazing box of macarons. They are all gone! Apart from the macarons, we did a tour of the city and we had a great time chatting and catching up. It made me think about how difficult it can be to live so far from the people you really love. Sometimes I realise that I really enjoy making my life more difficult that it really is.
For now these are all the news. Just think that if I go to Russia after this you could read posts directly from the land of the Soviets, how cool is that?
Good night (now I go to watch a Russian film, of course!)
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